Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Ant's Complete 2005-06 Predictions and Projections

The correct Western Conference projections...

San Antonio 60-22
Houston 51-31
Dallas 47-35
Memphis 38-44
New Orleans 18-64

Denver 52-30
Seattle 42-40
Minnesota 41-41
Utah 37-45
Portland 17-65

Sacramento 49-33
Phoenix 45-37
LA Lakers 44-38
Golden State 43-39
LA Clippers 37-45

The more accurate Playoff predictions...

1st Round


(1) Indiana over (8) Washington in 1

  • It's honestly going to feel like this for Eddie Jordan and the Wiz

(4) Detroit over (5) Cleveland in 6

  • LeBron's first Playoff experience should be like his first sexual experience--brief and short of expectation

(6) Milwaukee over (3) New Jersey in 7

  • I'll just save 9 or 10 of you the time, "Ant, nice job here, but C'MON, you're riding Milwaukee harder than Chasey Lain. I mean New Jersey is STACKED this year, yada, yada, yada"...Yeah, I got it but I want to make these predictions interesting and I actually think the Bucks will end up being the surprise team in the league

(2) Miami over (7) Philadelphia in 5

  • No way Dalembert can stop a healthy/rested Diesel


(1) San Antonio over (8) Golden State in 5

  • Warriors will get one off the Champs and build for '06-07

(4) Houston over Dallas in 6

  • I wouldn't miss any of these games if I were you

(6) Phoenix over (3) Sacramento in 6

  • If the Suns do indeed sneak into the Playoffs with a healthy and rested Amare, they will be a team to be reckoned with

(7) LA Lakers over Denver in 7

  • Can you honestly bet against Phil Jackson?

Conference Semifinals


Indiana over Detroit in 6

  • Tough, grueling series for both clubs, but one that Indy will be looking forward to all season. Artest will put the latches on Hamilton while Sarunas hits countless big threes to allow the Pacers to advance.

Miami over Milwaukee in 5

  • The Diesel's on a mission folks...

San Antonio over Houston in 6

  • If Yao has the type of year I think he will, this one could go to 7. But experience will pay off and the Rockets will be forced to prepare for their championship run in 2007.

Phoenix over LA Lakers in 6

  • This one will come down to Amare vs. Kwame. The names kind of sound alike, but their games couldn't be any different...

Conference Finals

San Antonio over Phoenix in 5

  • The Suns will be far too exhausted at this point. There's only so much adversity a team can face...

Indiana over Miami in 7

  • I'm tired of counting on Shaq being healthy for the entire postseason and always ending up disappointed. I strongly feel that Indy can overcome all of their struggles from a year ago and head to the Finals to face the Spurs. Jasikevicius will have no problem taking over where Reggie left off...

NBA Finals

San Antonio over Indiana in 6

  • How can I honestly expect the Pacers to get through both Detroit and Miami and then have enough left in the tank to take out the defending Champs? The Spurs would be my favorites even if they didn't add anything to their '04-05 roster. Now that they have Finley, NVE, and Oberto, well, it's dynasty time baby. And no I don't mean that old show with Delta Burke.


Most Improved Player

1) Dwight Howard, Orlando- The obvious pick, since Paul blatantly stole my James Jones selection. We need not forget that DH only amassed 12 and 10 last season, so when he drops a whopping 20 and 12 in '05-06, he'll easily run away with this hardware.

2) Raja Bell, Phoenix - Not sure how most experts are forgetting this guy. In last week's SI, PHX Coach Mike D'Antoni was asked if he thought Bell was better than the departed Quentin Richardson. His response (totally disregarding the Q comparison) : "What we have to do is get Raja up to Joe Johnson numbers." If that happens he could challenge Howard.

Sleeper) Andre Iguodala, Philly- I love this kid in a way that could possibly threaten my masculinity--he's that good. Watch what he brings to the table this season to help out AI and C-Webb.

6th Man of the Year

1) Antoine Walker, Miami- This role will suit him much better than it did in Dallas...

2) Eddie Griffin, Minnesota - I think this is the year Griffin breaks out. The area where I produce sperm is not big enough to place him in the Most Improved section, so I thought 6th man was more than fair.

Sleeper) Nate Robinson, New York- Can't you see Nate Dogg entering in the 2nd quarter and having the Garden rockin' by halftime? And then repeat the same task over and over again in the 4th until Larry Brown strangles Isiah to get him to move Marbury? Yeah, me too

Coach of the Year

1) Rick Carlisle, Indiana- After what this team faced last season, if Carlisle nabs the 1 seed he almost has to get the hardware.

2) Phil Jackson, LA Lakers- I cannot leave him off this list, especially looking at the roster they have right now and knowing he'll get them to the postseason.

Sleeper) Terry Stotts, Milwaukee- If the Bucks do indeed climb to the 6th seed, they'll be a lot of praise surrounding Mr. Stotts.

Executive of the Year

1) Larry Harris, Milwaukee - Getting Redd to return rather than go play in Cleveland is a feat in itself. Then he got Simmons and Magloire, only two of the best young players in the game. I can't give him credit for Bogut, but damn what a great offseason.

2) Carroll Dawson, Houston - The move that's flying under the radar right now is the extension of Yao's contract. How is that not huge for this organization? Bringing in Swift, Alston, and Anderson was just icing on the cake.

Sleeper) Danny Ainge, Boston - C'mon Paul, Harris as your sleeper? Ainge has had two very successful Drafts in a row, roping in some of the best talent in the nation without very high selections. And while those picks may very well begin to pay off this season, there's a monster trade right around the corner for the C's, I can feel it. If Minnesota starts slipping believe me that they are going to start shopping KG. And honestly, what team in the league has more to offer than Boston? If Ainge can get Garnett in Beantown he'll become the front-runner for this award. Now that's a sleeper Paulio.

1st Team All-Rookie

Chris Paul, New Orleans - He'll easily take home ROY honors

Sarunas Jasikevicius, Indiana - I'm really high on this guy and the spark he's going to provide for this Indiana ball club. He'll be winning games in the 4th quarter all season long

Ryan Gomes, Boston - My sleeper pick of the group, because I think he should be starting in Beantown by the middle of the year. The Celts need Ricky Davis coming off the bench and when that happens Gomes should bump up to the first unit

Andrew Bogut, Milwaukee - On opening night he's "starting for the injured Joe Smith". Can we really see him relinquishing that position when Smith gets healthy?

Ike Diogu, Golden State - I hate to agree with Paul's sleeper pick, but I think Ike is going to be the x-factor that gets this squad the 8th seed. I love his desire and intensity--somethings Adonal Foyle has no clue about.

2nd Team All-Rookie

Deron Williams, Utah - I originally liked D-Will to surprise for ROY honors, but now I envision Milt Palacio getting more run than originally expected.

Marvin Williams, Atlanta - He'll have a couple of "wow" games, but nothing to propel him onto the First Team...

Charlie Villanueva, Toronto - I'm still not sold on baldy putting together a solid 82-game campaign. I watched this guy disappear at UConn and he'll undoubtedly do the same in Canada.

Raymond Felton, Charlotte - Even though I hate to say it (because I have Brevin Knight on my fantasy squad), Felton should have the reigns of this team fairly soon...

Sean May, Charlotte - Perhaps the forgotten player of the group, May will provide a huge lift off the pine for Okafor and Brezec.

Rookie of the Year

1) Chris Paul, New Orleans - Let's put it this way, if he doesn't get the ROY, then something is definitely wrong.

2) Andrew Bogut, Milwaukee - If he's getting 30+ minutes a night, him and Paul will be neck and neck all season.

Sleeper) Nate Robinson, New York- Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold...

1st Team All-Defensive

Andrei Kirilenko, Utah - Hmm, Paul drafted him in the first round yet left him off the 1st Team? That's weird...AK-47 is a lock for this honor every season if healthy.

Ben Wallace, Detroit - Like Paul said, three-time DEF POY cannot be left off

Kevin Garnett, Minnesota - Are you ready for the season he's going to have? Are you sure?

Ron Artest, Indiana - Let's see what a year of rest will provide my main man Ronnie

LeBron James, Cleveland - I'm not doubting this kid for one second

2nd Team All-Defensive

Paul needs a fuckin' hobby...

Defensive Player of the Year

1) Kevin Garnett, Minnesota
- 14.5 RPG, 2.0 SPG, 2.5 BPG=Defensive Player of the Year.

2) LeBron James, Cleveland - He'll learn a thing or two from Larry Hughes on how to pick off a pass. 3.0-3.5 SPG is not out of the question.

Sleeper) Raja Bell, Phoenix - From what I've read this offseason, the Suns are finally going to have a respectable D thanks to this guy.

Eastern Conference All-Stars


G- Allen Iverson, Philadelphia - The reigning MVP is always a lock to start

G- Dwyane Wade, Miami - Right where he belongs, ahead of VC

F- Dwight Howard, Orlando- Trust me, everyone's gonna want the kid here

F- LeBron James, Cleveland - He should just be left off the ballots

C- Shaquille O'Neal, Miami - (sound of crickets chirping)


Jason Kidd, New Jersey - A healthy Kidd is a lock for this slot

Joe Johnson, Atlanta - Just wait and see...

Gilbert Arenas, Washington - Could lead the league in scoring playing at the 2

Vince Carter, New Jersey - Could lead the league in scoring with Kidd dishing to him for a whole season

Ron Artest, Indiana - Good to see him back...

Chris Webber, Philadelphia - Yeah, I'm biased because he's on my fantasy team, but I wouldn't have picked him if I didn't expect 19 and 9. Those are All-Star numbers, like it or not

Emeka Okafor, Charlotte - We finally have a reason to leave Big Z in Cleveland

Western Conference All-Stars


G- Tracy McGrady, Houston - Okay, the Texans SUCK. The Astros just got swept in the World Series. These fans need a reason to celebrate with the 2006 All-Star Game. That means T-Mac's a lock...

G- Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles - Prepare for a gargantuan season...(Really just an excuse to use the word gargantuan)

F- Tim Duncan, San Antonio - Timmay's a lock

F- Kevin Garnett, Minnesota - (Sound of squirrels nibbling on acorns)

C- Yao Ming, Houston - Paul :"The real question is, will Yao again shatter the record for most votes?" Ant: "Yes."


Steve Nash, Phoenix - Hope he's got a Kraft-Matic adjustable bed with that back. If so, he's in

Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas - We always need a big goofy white guy

Baron Davis, Golden State - 20.0 PPG, 8.5 APG, 2.5 APG...yup, he's in

Shawn Marion, Phoenix - With Amare out, look out

Carmelo Anthony, Denver - He guaranteed to be an A-S this year and since he's on my fantasy team I'll go ahead and believe him

Manu Ginobili, San Antonio - Mr. Clutch deserves it...

Brad Miller, Sacramento - Awesome numbers last season until he got hurt...now he has some protection under the hoop

1st Team All-NBA

Tim Duncan, San Antonio - How boring

Kevin Garnett, Minnesota - (sound of a kitten licking herself)

Shaquille O'Neal, Miami - Could be his last season...

Kobe Bryant, LA Lakers - With Phil back in town, Kobe's going to be dynamic

LeBron James, Cleveland - Paul in 2003: "Dude, LeBron will be First Team All-NBA by his third year." Me: "Yeah okay Paul. There's a better chance of Sheryl Swoopes coming out..."

2nd Team All-NBA

Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas - Did you see what he did for Germany this summer?

Tracy McGrady, Houston - Hey, it's either him or Kobe down here...

Yao Ming, Houston- With Swift protecting him, Yao will finally find his scrotum

Allen Iverson, Philadelphia - I'd contemplate him for First Team honors if it wasn't for that shaky knee

Dwyane Wade, Miami - He showed me a lot during the Playoffs last year...

3rd Team All-NBA

Ron Artest, Indiana - Stern won't even be able to keep him off this list

Vince Carter, New Jersey - Just imagine how many dunks he's gonna throw down from Kidd

Jermaine O'Neal, Indiana- They're gonna win 59 games for a reason...

Baron Davis, Golden State - Please let him be free of injuries, please...

Steve Nash, Phoenix - He'll do wonders for this Suns team once again but I just can't see him staying healthy for more than 80% of the year.


1) Kobe Bryant, LA Lakers - With all of his criminal charges finally in the past, along with Phil Jackson back in control of the team, I think this is the year Kobe does it all. Remember before those allegations arose how we all compared him to MJ? How one day he would be just as good and adored by all? Well, now that LeBron has entered the league we've left all of those hopes and dreams at the door--all of us except Kobe that is.

2) LeBron James, Cleveland - He could very well leap over Kobe (and the rest of the league for that matter) but I just hate going with the trendy pick. This will be his award off and on for the next 15 years, so let's let someone else get it one last time...

Sleeper) Carmelo Anthony, Denver - Once upon a time, many of us thought the Cavs should have drafted 'Melo over LeBron. After he lead Syracuse to a National Title as a freshman most of us felt he was the real deal. Well right now all we seem interested in is James, and to a lesser degree D-Wade. So where's Carmelo hiding out? This season we may find out...


At 11:44 PM, Blogger Ryan Kinkade said...

I think you're selling the Wolves short!! I agree with all the predictions you have for KG's upcoming year, but disagree with the wins that it'll translate into. I recently did my predictions for standing and awards on my blog. It'd be cool if you checked it out and let me know what you thought. Peace man!

At 3:45 AM, Blogger Paul Benedict said...

Since nobody else is commenting and I'm trying to procrastinate at 3:40 AM, allow me to nitpick with you partner. I like almost all of your predictions and see your reasoning (even the Gomes pick), but Dwight Howard is NOT starting in the All-Star Game. Nobody knows who he is! He plays in one of the worst markets in the NBA, has I think 3 national television appearances all season, and the team will be subpar. And Okafor and Webber on the All-Star Team over Jermaine and Ben Wallace, two perennial locks (although watching C-Webb tonight...I'll give you Webber making the team, with O'Neal as a starter)?

Just another comment-- doesn't it scare you a little bit that both our record predictions are so much alike? This shit is hard as hell to predict. And I know you purposely altered yours a bit just so they wouldn't completely mirror each other. We're going to end up looking like idiots, just wait. And that's besides the fact that we obviously spend way too much time talking sports-- I also think we're in for some real surprises this year. It'll be interesting to see how this all plays out. God I love this fucking game!!

At 9:10 AM, Blogger Anthony Peretore said...

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PAUL! I know Howard probably won't start the All-Star Game, but I think come February we'll be saying he probably should. I guess I'm just sick of Jermaine O'Neal. He never does anything exciting and just isn't good enough in my book to be starting an All-Star Game. And I didn't choose Okafor over Wallace DUMBASS, I said clearly that he was my replacement for Big Z. Thus, I probably selected too many smaller guys since their are only two big men on the bench. Fine then, put in Jermaine for Joe Johnson. Make you happy?

As far as your bitching about our team records goes, realize that NO ONE is ever accurate with that shit. Ever take a second to look back at our NFL picks? A lot of people loved Baltimore this season, same for the Jets, Vikings, Eagles, etc. And the same will ring true in the NBA this year. Oh well man, let's not get our panties in a bunch. It's fun.

And Kinkade, I applaude your optimism surrounding the Wolves, but you and Paul are off your rocker with that team. No way they make the Playoffs this year. NO WAY. I'll post a hilarious picture of myself if they do. Paul will hold me to it. PEACE

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Shepard said...

respect for the MVP pick.

and look how we are doing it :)

ps. i actually see arenas in 1st team along with kobe.. wait and see!

At 4:17 PM, Blogger Anthony Peretore said...

Yo Shep, thanks for the love but I don't speak hebrew bro.

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Ryan Kinkade said...

I'll be waiting for that picture! And no need for Paul to hold you to it... because I certainly will.

At 7:48 PM, Anonymous Adam Kaye said...

I can probably provide the picture
just gotta do a little searching, and i can probably post the one of you with the donkey, the horse-drawn carriage, and the chick with the "extra leg."

At 9:19 AM, Blogger Anthony Peretore said...

Adam, you said you'd never mention that again. Some friend you are


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