Monday, October 23, 2006

Is The Gambler a Cheater?



On a day when we found out that perhaps the best linebacker in football (Shawne Merriman) has been taking steroids, we also had the misfortune in waking up to the possibility that Detroit's Game 2 World Series victory may have been tarnished as well. For those of you seeing this for the first time, it is being reported that Tigers starting pitcher Kenny Rogers was caught with some sort of brown substance on the palm of his pitching hand during the first inning of last night's game. Was it dirt? Was it chaw spit? Was it pine tar? Was it shit? Who knows? All we do know for sure is that in a sporting world filled with controversy and perpetual steroid talk, this is icing on the cake.

As a die-hard sports fan, when allegations start to fly before all the facts are compiled, I always try my best to give an athlete the benefit of the doubt. For instance, as some writers practically painted us a picture of Terrell Owens tying a noose in his basement, I remained calm, cool, and collected until all parties involved were heard. Turns out, T.O. didn't attempt suicide but rather his publicist was feeding him pills so that she could get in his pants, call rape, then take her millions and run. See, no conclusion jumping here, no sir. But back to today's uproar…rather than give my honest opinion of what exactly Rogers' intent (if any) might have been, I'll wait until later today when I hear "It turns OUT, that last night in DEE-TROIT, Rogers was not in fact a CHEAT-ER, but merely a victim of faulty TOI-LET PAP-ER…In DEE-TROIT, Jeremy SCHAPP, EEE-s-p-n." Until then, I'll just let you wonder if it's a coincidence that 41 year-old starting pitcher can go 23 innings of Playoff baseball without giving up an earned run…

7 Comments:

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I was clearly mistaken.

 
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